One of the toughest times in a person’s life is during a separation. Couples become distraught and usually treat each other pretty poorly. Usually one is the instigator of the separation and the other tries to hold on. Even if they both are in agreement and have deemed it as the “best” solution for both of them, one person (or maybe both) hold on to some nostalgia of the first encounter, the great sex, the love and admiration that once existed.
When a break up goes bad is when hatred and condescension take over. Sometime we truly can’t help these feelings. Maybe we were burnt (especially if we were married to Tiger Woods). Or maybe a promise was not keep and the disappointment is overwhelming. What ever the circumstance is, we usually know (or hope) that one day this too shall pass. Well, if we are a teenager, we will never think that. The pain of separation and loss is most severe.
So my thought of the day is this: Why do divorced people with kids continue the absurdity of anger and the battle of the children long after the divorce is final? My husband has been divorced for more than six years, and the battle will not end until his children are grown up. Some new couples have problems with this past creeping into their relationship on a weekly or monthly basis. Some relationships never make it through the storm – especially if it lasts 5, 10, even 15 years. You would think that someday these people who are so angry with each other would just wake up and find a calling in life: a new career, a new lover, a new belief in God…..something, anything.
My ex, his wife, and I get along better than I do with my own child (she’s a handful, but I LOVE her and I am so proud of her). But the point is, that some people do get along after the breakup. I had three ex-boyfriends at my wedding.
This is what I suspect: People with a higher level of conscientiousness are more likely to remain civil with their former lovers.
What do you think?